Hallelujah! Another year, another Nutcracker. I'm glad it's over!
Me, too. And I'm glad all the other "nuts" have left this theater, too.
Just you and me still here, Jinky.
All alone on this big, empty, dirty stage. Jinky and Clarina. The last ones to leave, always.
No more twittering prima donna kids littering up the place.
Or giant dancing mice, and stampeding overgrown toy soldiers.
Just look at the crap they left behind.
Same thing. Every show. Every year.
Hey, look! A tiara just thrown away over here in the corner. I'm gonna take it home for my Lucinda.
. (Puts it on and preens a little.)
Your kid must have enough thrown-away stuff to start her own ballerina company by now.
It's the only reason I'm working this crap job.
To pay Lucinda's way through dancing school. Yeah, I know.
Why else would I be here every night while everyone else is living it up?
Or sleeping.
But not us. The night crew! "In Albuquerque theatres every night, working like dogs just for the chance to be on the stage!"
Look at these programs. All these names. Everyone who did anything at all for the show -- except us!
I kinda liked the one who played the Sugar Plum Fairy this year. I even came early a couple of times, just to watch her rehearse. That one can really dance her toes off.
But rehearsal was all you could see. We never got to see Sugar Plum on a show night. They wouldn't let us near the stage. Maybe they thought we might contaminate them in our grunge clothes.
Yeah. We're only welcome to appear after the shows.
The other night, this one guy tells me "Don't you come back here, till it's all over!"
And it ain't over . . .
. . . Till the fat lady sings.
And we ain't never gonna hear her
So, it'll never be over for us. Ever!
Looks like they had a big ol' rip roaring closing party here on stage tonight.
Oh yeah. One last bash before they drive off to their Rocky-feller mansions, or some other high society party.
Don't even invite us for the cleanup, at their fancy places.
Geez, even if I was invited, I wouldn't know what to wear. Or what to say.
"Madam, let me clean that smudge off your crystal champagne glass with my dirty dishmop."
Hey, look! They didn't finish their bowl of punch.
So why wait for the rats to come and drink it.
When we're here already.
And thirsty as hell.
They musta left the kids' bowl. The one without the liquor.
Yeah, smells just like plain old fruit juice.
Well, it's wet, and I'm thirsty. So, let's juice ourselves up.
"One for you, me pretty lass."
I'll drink to that.
Okay, Hinky Jinky What else have we got to drink to?
Not much, Marina.
At least we got a job.
So we ain't out in the cold. Walkin the streets, freezing our butts off.
I dunno. Walkin the streets might be better than pushing these brooms night after night.
Brooms? This ain't no broom. This here's Mr. Nutcracker himself. Come to invite you to his royal Nutcracker Suite.
Well, let's go!
"Ladies, you two could use a bit of magic in your lives."
And here's Mrs. Molliwig the shaggy housekeeper. "Why Mr. Nutcracker, what strong legs you have."
"The better to crack you with, my dear."
"Oh my, I've never ever been nutcracked before."
"Then it's about time you experienced the thrill of a master nutcracker."
"How's about, maybe a dance, before we crack your nuts?"
"Well, I dunno. I always save my first dance for the Sugar Plum Fairy."
"Ooh, I think she's left already for higher places. Your nut cracking just wasn't doing it for her anymore."
"Take that, you wench!"
"Aaiy!That's no waiy to treat a laidy"
"You're no laidy, you're only a dumb overblown mop head wench!"
"And you, you're only a wooden head with a hard wooden heart."
Hey, you know, we ain't half bad at this acting stuff. Maybe we caught the acting bug just by working here?
Of course. Put a costume on us, and we'd be right at home on this stage.
Maybe you, but never me.
Why not?
Oh, I never could get up in front of other people. I get the shakes all over.
Well, it never left me.
What?
The wanting to dance on a stage. Way back, I wanted to be a ballerina.
I kinda guessed that.
I saw this movie called THE RED SHOES and I danced right across that screen with Moyrah every time I saw it. I even painted my tennis shoes bright red.
And then what?
I thought "Some day I'll be dancing across some stage". But . . .
So, now you're pushing the broom across the stage, so your kid can take ballet lessons.
She's a born natural.
Maybe. But how many jobs are out there for amateur ballet dancers?
Teacher says she's good.
Well, she can always dance around a pole . . in a strip joint.
Shut up! My Lucinda would never work in a place like that.
Hey, you gotta go where the work is.
S'why we're here, ain't it.
Right. Where the work is. And the junk.
And the crap.
You know, this punch seems to have a bit more punch than usual.
Maybe there was just a little booze left at the bottom of the bowl?
Well then, pour me another Mrs. Mollywig from the bottom of the bowl. "You're looking better to me all the time."
And I'll have another bottom drink too. And maybe a little dance.
. (Dances unsteadily till her hand hits a tutu.)
Wowee! Hey, look what I found.
A tutu just thrown away!
Just waiting for me to find it.
Looks like it would fit you too.
Been dying for years to try one on.
So, why not now?
It's all squished up.
No, it ain't. Go on, put it on.
Here?
Perfect place right here.
But I don't wanna take my clothes off, not onstage. Not at my age.
So, put it on over your clothes. See what you look like anyways.
Okay.
. (She struggles with the tutu)
A little help, please.
Just leave the zippers open. See, it fits.
I almost feel like the Sugar Plum Fairy. I really do.
You have to dance around in a tutu . . . too. Just once. Here. Tonight. It's magic, I tell you.
Well, I think I saw a another costume back there somewhere. Hang on.
. (She walks away and puts on tutu while Clarina dances.)
I found it. "I'm the Snowflake Queen come to join you."
. (they dance for 5-10 seconds,
then throw up arms to shield eyes.)
What's that light? Who's there?
VOICE: It's just me, the night watchman! Just checking the place over.
Night watchman? You never come this early.
VOICE: I gotta holiday party to go to as soon as I finish. Practicing kinda late, ain't you ladies? What show you girls in anyhow? If you don't mind my asking.
Show? Ahh, ...why, ... why we're in The Sugar Plum Fairies show.
VOICE: Sugar Plump Fairies? I guess I don't know that one. Well, it's almost party time, so I gotta go. Night, ladies! Break a leg! Isn't that how you show-biz people say "Good Luck"?
Um, that's right. Good night! And enjoy your party.
He thought we were real show girls.
And we had a spotlight shining on us. And he called us "ladies".
But he called us the Sugar PLUMP Fairies! The very idea!
No, it's a good idea. I mean, to have our own little show with our own special name. What do you think?
I think that punch has got to you more than you realize.
Maybe, but that was fun, wasn't it? Know what? We could do it. We could have our own little dance, here or in whichever theater we're working in. We could do it every night, before we start working. It would put some sparkle in our lives and make this night work a little easier.
Maybe. Or, we could just wear tutus while we work. Make us feel special. Like we belong here, and we ain't just trespassing on their sacred stage.
If I had a tutu on while I was mopping, it wouldn't seem so much like mopping, would it? Maybe more like dancing.
We wouldn't get in trouble, would we?
For what? As long as we get our work done, why should it matter what we wear? I mean, it's not like we're wearing uniforms now.
Maybe your daughter could come and watch us some night. You know, if we get good enough.
Let's do it! We got the stage. We got the costumes.
We even got the perfect name for the show: "The Dance of the Sugar Plump Fairies".
Brought to you by that newly famous dance team
"Clarina and Jinky. Fresh from touring across Europe."
You have never seen anything like it!
. (She bows to audience.)
Ta Da!
. (Arms around each other's shoulders.
Bow to audience to signal END.
After applause, hit "Pause Music" if not already stopped.
)
